Desijokeswala

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Friday, June 24, 2011

सबसे बेहतरीन चीज़...

कई सालों की रिसर्च के बाद,

तमाम दुनिया के डॉक्टर,

इस नतीजे पर पहुंचे हैं कि

जुकाम के लिए सबसे बेहतरीन चीज़ -

It’s not the fault of a student if he/she fails his exam, let's see what are the reasons..

Typical academic year for a student. 365 Days

1. Sundays-52, Sundays are for rest.

Days left 313.

2. Summer holidays-50 where weather is very hot and difficult to study.

Days left 263.

Vegetable Market

Indian vegetable markets are fun to watch. (Photo manipulation)

सरदार जी का गणित

संता सेना में भर्ती होने के लिए परीक्षा देने गया.

परीक्षक – ३ + ५ कितने होते हैं ?

संता – ८.

परीक्षक – ७ + ३ ?

संता – १०.

परीक्षक – ८ + ८ ?

संता – पता नहीं सर.

परीक्षक – क्यों ?

संता – क्योंकि मेरे पास सिर्फ १० ही उँगलियाँ हैं !!!

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Interesting Facts about Indian Cities

India is one of the largest countries in the world and consists of varieties of customs and cultures. You can find some totally different human behaviors in each cities of this country. Suppose you are in an Indian city but don't know which city is it. In that situation, the following tips can help you in identifying the name of the town:

Scenario 1

Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along, then a fourth and they start arguing about who's right. You are in Kolkata

Red Panda is an animal found in the eastern Himalayas specially in China and Sikkim and Assam of India. Someone has dressed this cute animal with Indian saree and blouse. How much beautiful, you believe, she is?

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Findings of Desi Scientists

After digging to a depth of 100 meters last year, Russian scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 1000 years, and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network one thousand years ago.

So, not to be outdone, in the weeks that followed, American scientists dug 200 metres and headlines in the US papers read: "US scientists have found traces of 2000 year old optical fibres, and have concluded that their ancestors already had advanced high-tech digital telephone 1000 years earlier than the Russians."

One week later, the Indian newspapers reported the following: "After digging as deep as 500 metres, Indian scientists have found absolutely nothing. They have concluded that 5000 years ago, their ancestors were already using wireless technology."

Dahej Me Dokha

Someone got this motorcycle in dahej..

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Planting the Onions

A man in Tihad jail receives a letter from his wife:

"Dear Husband, I have decided to plant some onion in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?"

The prisoner, knowing that the prison guards read all mail, replied in a letter:

"Dear Wife, whatever you do, do not touch the back garden. That is where I hid all the money."

A week or so later, he received another letter from his wife:

Dating in Desi Style

This is how people date in our country.

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Convention on Sardars Are Not Stupid

80,000 sardars meet in a stadium, for a " Sardars Are Not stupid " Convention.

The leader says, "We are all here today to prove to the world that Sardars are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer ? "

A sardar gingerly works his way through the crowd and steps up to the stage. The leader asks him, "What is 15 plus 15 ? "

After 15 or 20 seconds he says, " Eighteen ! "

Obviously everyone is a little disappointed.

Then 80,000 sardars start cheering, "Give him another chance! Give him another chance ! "

How to make people happy?

The popular desi leaders Laloo, Jayalalitha, and Karunanidhi are on a long flight in an Air Force plane. Laloo pulls out a 100 Rupee note and says, "I'm going to throw this Rs. 100 note out and make someone down below happy."

Jayalalitha not wanting to be outdone says, "If that was my 100 Rupee note, I would split it into two Rs. 50 notes throw them down and make two people down below happy."

Of course karunanidhi doesn't want these two candidates to out do him so he pipes in, " I would instead take one hundred Rs. 1 notes and throw them out to make 100 people just a little happier."

At this point the pilot who has overheard all this bragging and can't stand it anymore comes out and says, "If I throw all three of you out of this plane and I'll make 100 crore people happy!"

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

37 Reasons Why Motorcycles Are Better Than Women

One of our clever sardar's argument on why motorcycles are better than a woman:

1. Motorcycles only need their fluids changed every 2,000 miles.

2. Motorcycles' curves never sag.

3. Motorcycles last longer.

4. Motorcycles don't get pregnant.

5. You can ride a Motorcycle any time of the month.

May be the authority asking- Whose Kartoot is this??

Sardar the Husband

A Sardar gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom.

He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting.

”What’’s up?” he says.

”I’m having a heart attack,” cries the woman.

He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he’s dialling. his five-year-old son comes up and says, “Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Surender is hiding in your wardrobe and he’s got no clothes on!”

Goats have special capacity to climb a tree.

The Elephant and the Bananas

An elephant has 5 bananas and it is hungry, but yet it does not eat the bananas. Why?

Because the bananas are made of plastic.

Next…Q
The 5 bananas are real , but yet the elephant does not eat it. Why?

Because the elephant is made of plastic.
Hahhaa…never give up…one more..

Desi Pickle

The best place to get this Desi Indian Pickle may be the Parliament House!!

Friday, May 20, 2011

100 Dollars for the Story

An Indian tourist walks into a curio shop in San Francisco. Looking around at the exotica, he notices a very life-like, Life-sized bronze statue of a rat. It has no price tag, but is so striking he decides he must have it.

He takes it to the owner: "How much for the bronze rat?"

"Twelve dollars for the rat, one hundred dollars for the Story," says the owner.

The tourist gives the man twelve dollars. "I'll just take the rat, you can keep the story."